It is their wish. Traditionally, widows were not allowed to decorate themselves, or look beautiful, with the intention that no other man should look at them lustfully. If girls are dressed properly, they will not attract unnecessary attention. But they chop their hair, wear short dresses, high heels which catch others attention. People write love letters, disrupt their marriages and spoil their lives. Hence if you live naturally with what God has gifted you, there is less trouble.

You start wearing Kumkum more prominently only after marriage. You wear the Mangala Sutra, which is symbolic of your married status, of the presence of your husband. If you continue wearing them after your husband dies, then how will others distinguish when they are giving turmeric and Kumkum to married women? It would be incorrect to give it to you. Hence the custom.

When you are grieving the loss of your dearest one, when you believe your life is incomplete without the husband and feel the emptiness, then what is the point in wearing many beautiful bangles, ornaments, flowers and beautiful sarees? If you cannot do that much for the one you loved so dearly, what is the use? Hence the custom. Others don’t have such practice. It is not that you should not respect others who do not practice it. This custom is more symbolic. With the passing away of the husband, these symbols of married women are sacrificed. in the past, they used to even shave their heads so they do not look beautiful at all.

However, if one wishes to continue wearing these, there is absolutely nothing wrong.

(Q&A Session 28 Nov 2016)