Do a lot of people feel this way? Raise your hands! (Many raise their hands).

You have asked this question out immense love you have for Sri Swamiji. Those who truly love Swamiji cannot bear to hear such words. There could be one reason for Swamiji to say such things. When He gives any instruction, or an order, your dull minds do not act accordingly and are very lax. At such times, like a mother who threatens, I scare you with such words. This is also done with love. A mother may say that she will not feed you if you do not do as told. But if you really do not do the task, the mother will still not let you sleep on an empty stomach. She will wake you up in the middle of the night and lovingly feed you. If you insist and refuse to eat, she may beat you, just to make you eat! She will give up for your sake. There is nothing comparable to this love.

But then we must also try out best to follow her instructions. This is just a blackmail by your Swamiji to push you to do good things as soon as possible. I may set a target to complete 1 crore japa. Just to get you to take part, do your bit, I say things like I may not be here to see the completion. These words are not true. If I don’t scold you also, you still scold me. Just remember that you must follow Sri Swamiji’s instructions always. Have firm faith that Sri Swamiji will be with you at all times. Just as He has the rights to say that He may or may not be here always, you have equal rights to insist that Swamiji must certainly be with you at least as long as you are alive! That is your love towards Him. Just like parents express their wishes by saying things like I wish to see you graduate before I retire, I wish to see you marry while I’m alive, Sri Swamiji also prods us to do better and faster.

A lot of people have this question. Even Bala Swamiji told me the same - it is ok for you Swamiji, to scold us in whatever way you wish to, but please do not say you will go away from us. Ok! I will not say that. But by chance if I say it again, please remind me of my promise to you!

(At this juncture Sri Dattavijayananda teertha Swamiji (Bala Swamiji) intervened and spoke)- This is a good question and the answer is even better. I can say that Sri Swamiji speaking of going away is sheer torture! This started from the year when Sri Swamiji turned 60 (2002). For the first time, He spoke of this in Garuda Mantapa. Just like the person who asked this question, I don’t know how many nights I have spent crying because of such words from Appaji. I have pleaded with Him so many times to not talk this way. Sri Swamiji has many techniques to get things done by us. Of those, this is a very powerful one! Appaji called it blackmail, but I call it technique. Normally, when you want children to listen to you, you tempt them with a chocolate. That is a very good way. But here this is not chocolate. Appaji, please do not do this. Appaji said, “This is not chocolate, this is chaku (it means knife in Kannada).”

I very intensely asked about this concern first time in Vijayawada. It was the time when Marakata Rajarajeshwari temple construction was in progress. It was a mammoth task! It was to be a big temple made entirely out of stone with intricate carvings. There was some delay in the work. One devotee fell from the scaffolding but by Appaji’s grace was not hurt. Appaji called for a meeting and said, “If you finish this temple construction, I will be very happy. Complete this temple while I’m alive. I will be happy to see it.” The work progressed well after that, but His words kept haunting me. On the day of the consecration also I requested Appaji to not speak of leaving us. Appaji said, “If I had not spoken in those terms that day, would they have completed this temple?” Then I understood that Sri Swamiji uses this treatment to get us to do our duty. He could have stopped with it that day. But He continued and it became the weapon, an arrow to fire at us when we do not follow His words. Many challenging tasks were completed with Appaji using this as the means to push us.

I finally put out my thought as a Bhajan “Vandellu velagali mee velugu maa koraku” as He would not stop talking like He did. So I decided I will have my way and pray to Him through the Bhajan! I then started believing that Sri Swamiji will always be with us and would think about how the 70th birthday should be celebrated, how the 75th birthday would be organized. So many devotees will come. Now I have started thinking how the 80th, 85th, 90th and 100th year of Sri Swamiji’s birthday will be celebrated!! Sri Swamiji gives us medicine along with the treatment. He had told us to be courageous and have faith. With this kind of thinking, we feel brave, happy and blissful! Appaji continues to say what He says, though it hurts us, we will be stronger and believe that Sri Swamiji will be with us. Appaji is Anjaneya Swami, He is Vajranga! When we pray, chant Hanuman Chalisa, perform any japa, and let us offer at least a part of for Appaji’s health. This is the true offering. Let us make this a habit. It will make Appaji also happy. And we will prepare to celebrate the 80th, 85th, 90th, 95th and the 100th birthday of our beloved Master!

(Q&A Session 13 Nov 2016)